Fast Product
Wear a helmet. All the time.

 

After spending six years with noise merchants Star Vehicle, Cyndi Elliott spent the better part of this millennium on a star search…for the real Fast Product. It took four different lineups to get it right.

 

Greg Hamilton rehearsed once with a primordial version. In 2001, he volunteered to play bass when it was just Cyndi and Brian Lubinsky (The Interiors) on drums. But for some reason, (likely her deep-seated fear of too many notes and a long-standing tradition of eschewing bass guitarists), she turned away the collaborator who would, three different lineups later, become Fast Product’s right hand, left foot and right brain. Greg is Fast Product’s one-man band—now on Farfisa and guitar, with bass pedals to keep his feet from getting bored.

 

As for John Roeser, well, he was that (usually) nice guy Cyndi always saw at Rainbo. It was pretty much always the same: she’d make fun of his band name, he’d make fun of hers, and she’d bug him about taking the Bar Exam. Once she gave him a ride home, even though he lived like, right around the corner.

 

Years later, Greg and Cyndi were at the Hideout, crying in their beers over yet another wayward drummer, and they ran into John. Valiantly, he offered to play drums with them. They were like, “WHAT? You don’t play drums, you play guitar and sing in Hot Dog City!” He just winked, turned around and walked away. Next thing they knew he was in their practice space, bashing and crashing away in his inimitable style. At last the search was over.

 

There is still no bass player.